I somehow feel it’s bad newsletter etiquette to go on about the brilliant holiday I’ve had in LA. So I won’t talk about the brilliant Warner Bros. Studio Tour I went on, visiting Vasquez aka Star Trek Rocks, or eating at the oldest McDonald’s in the world. Look, the last one is exciting to me, leave me alone.
I also spent a day at Universal Studios Hollywood, the best part of which me was my second studio tour of the week, with a highlight being a look around the beautiful set for upcoming comedy St. Denis Medical. Walking from a soundstage into a completely realistic four-wall set will never cease to be a magical thing.
But it probably wasn’t the most magical thing I saw that day.
The actual theme park section of Universal I found less interesting; the “action sequences” you get on the tour in your tram are brilliant, but more than enough for me. I certainly didn’t bother going on The Mummy or the Transformers rides, and nothing I have read about them since makes me wish I’d tried them. So while it was interesting to see the ongoing construction of the new Fast & Furious rollercoaster, due to open in 2026, I know I will never actually ride the damn thing.
And yet, as we walked past the construction site, there was a construction worker standing, in full getup, looking vaguely annoyed. He was holding a sign.
I AM HOLDING UP THIS WALL WITH MY BARE HANDSWe walked past him again later on. This time, his sign read:
DON’T READ THISAnd checking on Twitter, his sign has also been known to say:
SUPER SECRET BLUEPRINT Universal Studios literally paid someone to stand around all day outside a construction site, holding up stupid signs.
In a park where show business is the name of the game - where even a studio tour gets a couple of mini thrill-rides thrown in - this strikes me as the most brilliant showbiz touch of all. To take a necessary evil - an ugly construction site in the middle of your theme park - and turn it into something funny, is everything I love about entertainment.
And like all the best showbiz touches, the fun is in the scale. It’s in paying someone to stand there all day, purely in the service of a joke. Of all the jobs that need to be done every hour of every day at that park… somebody knows that it’s also deeply important to give somebody the silliest job in the world.
Just to add that tiny bit of extra magic. Because without that magic, entertainment is nothing.
This Month on Dirty Feed
My long-threatened series looking at Onslow’s telly in Keeping Up Appearances is finally here. You do not want to know what a nightmare this was to write. But I’m going to hint darkly at it and ask you to feel sorry for me, despite it being an entirely self-inflicted wound.
"Specially Shot for Onslow's Telly" - The first part, on the films Onslow watches on his TV. If you only read one of the three pieces, make it this one. I really like how this turned out in the end.
Onslow’s Sporting Moments - For those who are glutton for punishment, or really like long footnotes about the British Touring Car Championship.
Onslow’s Telly Redux - For hardcore sitcom nerds only. You have been warned.
Not on Dirty Feed
Red Dwarf Series 1: The Sets - An absolutely brilliant thread by Andrew Orton, looking at Series 1 of Red Dwarf in-studio. I’ve talked before about how my old investigations about the show’s sets are my version of time travel; Orton’s work here really does make me feel like I’m back in that studio audience in 1987.
The Good Life visits Denham Station - You already know if you want to click on that one or not. Clue: you do. (via Alison Bean)
Why Was the Miami Vice Pilot So Good? - Matt Zoller Seitz, with a piece that perhaps tips a little too much into “cinematic = automatically superior” if you read it in a certain way, but is otherwise so good that it deserves the benefit of the doubt.
Forgotten Television Drama: The Play on One - John Cook, with a section of TV history which is pretty much unknown to me: what the BBC did after they cancelled Play for Today.
Will the audience sitcom ever return? - Gemma Arrowsmith, with a piece which I was obviously going to link to before I’d even read it. (My own view: it would only take one new hit audience sitcom for commissioners to realise the gold they’re potentially leaving on the table. But if they aren’t even going to commission that, we’re in deep trouble.)
“That’s Blossom, man” - I don’t think this brilliant Powerpuff Girls spot ever aired in the UK, or if it did, then I don’t remember seeing it on Cartoon Network at the time. “Just making interesting stuff to get people’s attention” is always going to be the very best thing a channel can do.
Obligatory Sabrina Carpenter link - This month: using her endorsement of Redken haircare products as an excuse to do a comedy sketch.
The story of how BBC Look East got its name - Paul Hayes with the BEST EVER ARTICLE published on BBC News.
The Year of Listing Dangerously - Phil Norman, with his brand new weekly newsletter looking at old TV listings.
Inside the remarkable rise and shocking loss of Leonard Rossiter - I don’t link to much writing about culture from The Guardian, but this piece by Catherine Shoard is brilliant.
Rubbery Figures - Episode 1 of the Australian Spitting Image-ish show, in its 1987 incarnation. Read more about the show on Peter Nicholson’s site. (via Mike Scott)
Barry Keoghan isn’t good enough for her, you know.