Dirty Digest #20: August 2024
Now, that's the kind of cash that opens anybody's legs
So, after giving myself a loophole last time to miss a few months here… erm, this is a full-fat newsletter for the first time in a while, with a brand new article. Or, at least, article-in-progress. I need to stop trying to predict what mood I’m going to be in with any of this shit a month in advance.
Listening material this time round: Sabrina Carpenter’s “Slim Pickins”, from her album which was released today. Because clearly, what Sabrina Carpenter needs to make her truly successful is free promotion from me. Great song, though. “This boy doesn’t even know the difference between ‘their’, ‘there’ and ‘they are’…”
For extra credit: this live version, and this acoustic version.
This Month on Dirty Feed
I may not have actually managed to have my planned summer hiatus, but this month has at least been a little low-key on the actual site. A few fun bits, though:
It’s Just So Crypto-Fascist! - The link between Children’s BBC show What’s That Nosie?, and Red Dwarf. Contains: Patrick Moore playing xylophone with Napalm Death.
Oh, Nice! - The crowd-pleasing combination of Keeping Up Appearances and library music.
Light-Hearted & Fun - I seem to have been on a bit of a library music kick this month, actually. This one is about the link between Alexei Sayle’s Stuff, The Fast Show, and… I won’t spoil it.
Onslow’s Sporting Moments
One reason the site has been a little quiet this month is that I put an amazingly large amount of research into answering the question “What is on Onslow’s telly in every single episode of Keeping Up Appearances?”… before realising that five articles of that meandering nonsense would lose every single reader I’ve ever had. I know when my articles are good and when they are bad, and this was turning out bad. Very, very bad.
So I’m rethinking what I’m going to write about that entirely. But we can at least salvage something. Let's take a look at the second episode of Series 1, "The New Vicar", broadcast on the 5th November 1990.
Onslow’s watching a nice bit of motor racing. But we can be more specific than that, with a bit of poking around in the production paperwork. This is the British Touring Car Championship 1990. Or even more exactly, Round Two at Donington Park, which took place on the 29th April 1990, and was broadcast on BBC2 during Sunday Grandstand on the 6th May 1990.1
Footage from this race is - slightly unbelievably - sitting nicely on YouTube. The section we see in Keeping Up Appearances is at 6:14 in the below video:
And so, for the final proof:
The overscan on Onslow's television really is dreadful.
This motor racing material is used again in the penultimate episode of the series, "Daisy's Toyboy", broadcast on the 26th November 1990. But this time round, we also get some horse racing:
This was at Newbury, and took place on the 17th August 1990; unlike the motor racing, this was actually broadcast live on BBC2 the same day.2 This material hasn't been uploaded to YouTube sadly, but I've poked around in some helpful places, and I can confirm that the above is absolutely correct:
This same racing footage is also used in the pub in the final scene of the episode. It's a little more difficult to tell, as the image on the pub television is so small, but I've matched up the commentary on the original footage, and it's definitely correct:
Amusingly enough, whenever Onslow is watching motor racing or horse racing throughout the entire five series of Keeping Up Appearances, it’s always the above two pieces of footage used. Which makes sense.
After all, who would ever bother to check?
Not on Dirty Feed
Lander on the Acorn Archimedes - A wonderful piece of work by Mark Moxon, detailing every single thing you might ever want to know about the seminal demo. I also wrote about this on the main Dirty Feed site, but it’s well worth a relink to here.
La Sentinelle - Speaking of Acotn games, this needlepoint project by Marine Beaufils on The Sentinel is beautiful. Not that I was ever any bloody good at the game. Mind you, I was shit at Repton too. (via waxy.org)
Cracks of Doom - Jason Dyer, on what seems to be the first ever commercial Tolkien videogame adaptation.
I Double Dare You Not To Use This Pun - Mr Babbage/Doc Wallace, with a tale of Red Dwarf and warm-up artistes.
The Influencer - Brig Bother, writing about a Korean survival variety reality show. I’ll probably never get around to seeing it, but it was delightful to read about it.
A far shorter list of links than usual, which not coincidentally matches the fact that I’ve been mainly away from social media for the last month, and thus read far less of other people’s stuff. The modern conundrum: how do you get all the benefits of social media, while not going completely insane? I have no idea.
That’s your lot for this month. In September: probably some words about something. I don’t want to get any more specific than that.
The pilot of Keeping Up Appearances was recorded on the 15th April 1990; "The New Vicar" was actually the next episode recorded, on the 7th October 1990. So, oddly enough, this race hadn't even happened by the time the first episode was recorded, but was already a few months old by the time this second episode was made.
The same applies to this horse racing footage as with the motor racing of course; it actually took place between the pilot and second episode were recorded.